HBOS? Bailed. Lloyds TSB? Done. RBS? I'll get my chequebook. Green Investment Bank? Erm, no thanks.
The only bailing being done by today's government is on its green promises, and one stands out bigger than the rest: the commitment to establish a Green Investment Bank.
Back in November last year, as part of a newly rebranded Conservative party – green tree on the letterhead, huggable huskies in the Arctic, pedal-powered commutes to parliament – George Osborne, now the Chancellor, said this:
"If we're to compete in the technologies of the future, and come out of this recession with a more balanced economy, then Britain needs to play catch up. Our Green Investment Bank will help us do precisely that. It will help deliver the green finance we need for new growth and new jobs in every region of the country. And it will help us to decarbonise our economy and compete for business around the world."
Hear hear George. Or more accurately: hear hear "George 2009".
Last month after we posted a little reminder of his pledge on the Treasury he quipped: "it's the first anyone has ever protested for a bank". Well, that's because it appears he's finding his promises hard to keep.
On Wednesday, Chris Huhne, George's Lib Dem opposite number at the Department for Energy and Climate Change, suggested that there may not be a Green Investment Bank after all. There may be a fund instead. A fund that last month we said would amount to little more than a "poorly funded government quango".
What's the government finding so difficult to understand about the Green Bank? It'll stimulate innovation and growth in the clean energy sector and the economy more widely. It'll create tens of thousands of jobs. It'll help us hit our emissions targets.
Apparently that's not enough. It seems the coalition's green pledge is flaking away like cheap paint.
Huhne says "the overwhelming priority of the government has to be to keep the deficit down." Yet this bank can stimulate growth in the economy that will help pay off the deficit. The two are not contradictory.
As Climate Change Secretary, Huhne's 'overwhelming priority' should be to stop climate change, which is precisely the basis on which he was in Cancun last week. But where's the point in negotiating international pledges if you can't even keep your promises at home? Ernst & Young's say that without a bank, we'll have only about a fifth of the £450bn needed for us to hit our emissions targets over the next 15 years.
It's still not too late for the government to set its priorities straight and commit to establishing a Green Investment Bank – not a fund – that has serious start-up funding and the power to raise its own cash.
Until it does, it'll be clear that mixing blue and yellow doesn't give you green.
