So it was half term and I had a rare Saturday off. What better way to spend it than arranging an orangutan's rear end in a dark alley?No, it was not to practice the latest sordid hobby among East Londoners, nor was it a new identity trailer for the Discovery Channel.
I had a friend with me dressed as an orang utan. It was pretty brave of him really considering the sun had finally showed its face. I was glowing in just my hoodie, but he was aping around under layers of foam body armour covered in orange fur, sporting outsized simian headgear. Anyway his antics were brilliant for attracting the good folk of Whitechapel but the exertions also led to what you might call a wardrobe malfunction. Hence the hasty retreat down aforementioned dark alley, in order to adjust aforementioned rear end and hide the distinctly un-tree-dweller-like visible boxer short.
You may have heard of a company called APP. They've had starring roles in tales of dodgy dealings in the Indonesian rainforest for quite a while now. One of the latest? Supposedly protected rainforest - the irreplaceable habitat of endangered creatures like orangutans and Sumatran tigers - is being cleared by APP in order to sell disposable paper products, such as packaging for KFC takeaways. The word outrageous is overused but I can't think of another description so apt.
Greenpeace has already persuaded Mattel, Nestle, Xerox and other huge names to stop doing business with APP. It seems that KFC has not yet cottoned on. They are still denying that they buy from APP but the proof has been found in two international laboratories. Personally I find it easier to believe the evidence rather than the flustered shop manager who just wanted us to go away - and presumably to take our 8-foot-high KFC bucket, two orangutans and numerous flyers with us.
The public at large agreed with us and many said they would go online to add their names to the campaign.
Happily the police, when called, also agreed with us that we were doing nothing wrong and drove off in their riot van actually smiling (though not before requesting a photo with our orangutans – no underwear in sight).
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