To give you a giggle of a morning here’s a sample from the ‘have your say of savings’ section of the spending review website

Divert all welfare funding to Nuclear Weapons

Over 50 years of the Welfare State has seen this nation decline from world superpower to a laughing stock. Prior to the Second World War, Britain was respected across the globe and the populace were literate, polite and knew their place. There is an obvious link between this nation's decline and the ever increasing welfare burden.

All welfare spending should cease immediately and the money saved diverted to the military in order to build a significant nuclear arsenal that the French and communists don't snigger at.

Once the new arsenal is established, diplomats can be withdrawn from other countries and the UN. We could then make it clear to any nation that thinks it's hard enough that we don't negotiate. This strategy would need to have credence, so it would be important to pick a fight wth a small nation (say Belgium) at the outset, in order to demonstrate our resolve and capabilities.

The withdrawal of diplomats would stop global warming caused by the aluminium foil found on Ferrero Rocher. The reversal in climate change would prevent seagulls becoming the size of small aircraft, probably. 

How the idea could be implemented

1. Instead of receiving child benefit, parents will receive a letter detailing the yield and serial number of an individual war head. Multiple independant re-entry vehicle warheads could be reseved for people who are the parents to multiple births. Parents will then name the warhead/MIRV after their child. This would discourage left wing people from having children.
   
2. Provision of healthcare would be provided by the military on a basis of need. This will put a stop to liposuction, breast enlargements brazilians and botox type treatments on the NHS. Nurses uniforms would be restyled like american nurses in the 1940's, they wouldn't be mingers and they would sing a lot as seen in that shampoo advert.
   
3. Similarly, education would be provided by the military. This would be limited to the provision of subjects that support the military-industrial complex i.e. maths, sciences, engineering and biochemistry. Men at university would smoke pipes and wear smart clothes and brogues. Women at university would do the cooking and cleaning. Some attracive women could be given admin roles so that they can fall in love with research scientists who are working late on an important new offensive weapon. All computers will be banned from universities; blackboards and chalk will be used instead. These will be backed up by typewriters (used by women).
   
4. The diplomatic service could be out-sourced to a call centre in Mumbai. Highly trained call centre workers would use a simple script that gave the caller the option of either capitulation or armageddon. The theme song from 'Minder' would be a nice relaxing tune whilst foreign governments were on hold. To provide an air of menace, PJ & Duncan's 'Lets Get Ready To Rumble' could be substituted at times of increased tension.
   Where Britain needed to initiate a negotiation, then the call centre could be used to contact foreign governments whilst they're having their tea after a hard day's work.
   
5. The military-industrial complex would provide unlimited employment. The feckless and ne're do wells could be employed in irradiated areas without the expense of shielding by issuing them with brand new 'radio active proof' shell suits.
   
6. The polar regions could be used as testing grounds for the new warheads. This would speed up the melting of the polar ice-caps. Once the ice-caps had melted, scruffy long haired people wouldn't be able to whinge about them receding anymore and there would be more room in the media for real, fact based, science articles.
   
7. It would probably be best to keep the USA on side with this one.